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Please be aware that this poem may cause flashback if you have been abused.



It Always Meant

"This hurts me more than it does you"
always meant...it's time for the belt.
Time to wear long skirts and bobby sox
to hide the marks on my legs.

"Why did you do that?"
always meant...it's another lickin'.
Oh, if only I didn't have gym,
seeing pity in the other kids' eyes.

"This is for your own good"
always meant...some kind of pain.
A smack, a punch, a slap on the face
a black eye, a fat lip, a broken bone.

"Look what you made me do"
always meant...something broken.
He was good at breaking things;
the dishes, the walls, and me.

"It's all your fault"
always meant...they were about to explode.
I never knew what form it would take;
Only that it would hurt.

"When will you ever learn?"
always meant...time for punishment.
Oh God, if only my kids didn't have to
hear and see what would happen next.

All the phrases I have lived with
marked my body and crippled my soul.
Somehow I was able to break free;
never again will they be used on me.

A mother, a father both used these words
and later when I grew up
I didn't expect any thing else
from the man I chose to marry.

My abusers always had excuses,
to justify their actions.
In reality they never learned
Hurting isn't love.

©AWeber aka WebGranny
April 20. 1999


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